yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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