That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
