I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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