He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
