I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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