Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
