you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
