Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize