I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
