were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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