He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
