it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
