and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
