im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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