Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
this just has baby written all over it
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
