I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
