Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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