So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
