tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
