Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Randomize
