So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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