talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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