Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
