My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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