oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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