I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
They have beer where we have blood.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
