Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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