he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
