I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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