she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
