how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I skipped work to stalk him.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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