Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
