I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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