K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
