well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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