Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
