This girl is more easily done than said...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Randomize
