I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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