your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
