You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
