Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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