Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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