come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
