You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We just shotgunned beers for America
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
