So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
