You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
