Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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