On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
