I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
