just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
i out mim tonsoeep
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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