idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
