i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
