But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Randomize
