This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Randomize
