Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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