This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
