It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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