Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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