If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
