So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
