Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
