he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Found your dick twin last night
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
