Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You were trust falling into bushes
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
