I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
