Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize