yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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