Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
