somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
