talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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