he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
How does one acquire holy water?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
