i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
