finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
