Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
