And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
