I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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