he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
