the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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