Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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