So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
