You really coming over, don't trick.
Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
